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I'm a Megalomaniac, dude.

Age. 18
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Black
Location Somewhere, VA
School. Other
» More info.
Buncha Fuckin Jibberish
Davey Quote!!
"Hate Humanity? Yep, sure do. There's such a lack of responsibilty for one's actions in the world, a selfishness, and a great destruction in the way people live their lives. It's all instant gratification,and who cares how my instant gratification affects those around me, or on a small personal level or a global level. The way people treat eachother is truly disgusting, and we've created an environment through advances in science and technology that allows for a very septic society to thrive. And we breed and breed, and all the wrong people breed while all the right people don't wanna have children because they don't wanna place them in this world"
Lyrics of the day
Totalimmortal by AFI

Hope unknown. Sometimes just waking is surreal.
I walk right through the nameless ones.
I know that hope's unknown.
Sometimes the water feels so real.
As I walk through it fills my lungs, my god, I'm drowning.
This day never seems to end.
This pain, never.
This rage I will not let go.

I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing out holes through flawless souls.

So alone. Sometimes I swear that I can hear the taunting of the voiceless ones.
I fear that I alone fear those who ceased to feel that they're alone inside this place.
I am the misplaced.
Now ever face, it looks familiar...
then every face would melt away until..
now everyone, do you know, I know your deception?


September 2018

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My Current Playlist
- All That's Left
- Paper Tigers
- The Melting Point of Wax
- Under a Killing Moon
- Blood Clots and Black holes
- So Strange I Remeber You
- At A Glance
- Narrative of Soul Against Soul
- Fall Children
- Soap Box Derby
- Days of the Phoenix
- Wester
- Total Immortal
- The Despair Factor
Tsunami Bomb
- Breakaway
- Marionette
- Rotting Vampire Eyeballs
Its been a while
Sunday. 11.30.03 9:47 pm
Whaddup kids, its me again. i know its been a while, i've been so tired lately. I recently went to Nags Head, i know its cold now, but it was back when the weather was acting crazy and it was actually a warm day. it was really nice down there. it was my first time there, i had went with laura. i spent the night over her house and then we left the next day around 8 in the morn and got there around 11 i believe and didn't leave there til like 6. and with my luck, my fat ass fell in the water and got my jeans completely wet. lol! laura was rollin and then she decided to get wet with me. :-P that girl got soaked from head to toe... i won't about to do all that. lol. i was just wet from about the shoulders down. before we left, laura showed me these huge sand dunes they have down there. it used to be a golf course, but somehow it got completely covered with sand and now they're dunes. lol! me and laura rolled down one of the bigger ones, it was fun as hell. we did it about 2 or three times. lol! we were like 'ok, and how old are we again?... 8? oh ok' lol! i can't wait til my fuckin birthday so i can have my license and so i can get my car. i'm gonna be visiting people like crazy then. lol. i know i'm gonna visit Laura (that's a given) Samika, Termaine (probably the most), Jessica, Gabe, Brit and probably Henry. i was talkin to him the other night and he was tellin me bout how he's gonna get his license right after his birthday which is December 7th. he told me that i was gonna be one of the first ppl he visits... yeah right... lol! but whatever. i dunno what to get folks for christmas. Samika came into the pharmacy and told me that she was gonna get me somethin for christmas and i was like 'oh lord ANOTHER person i'm gonna have to get a gift for" lol.... but i know what samika likes me and her got the same style so it won't be hard shopping for her. i'm prolly gonna get her something from old navy. a cute shirt or something. i'll prolly get termaine a shirt too, i dunno what to get everybody else. especially t.j. his ass his hard shoppin for, cuz i'm not familiar with that digimon shit he's into. lol. i told my folks all i want are dvds and cds. i don't really want much this year for some reason. but i did buy myself a few presents on Old Navy.com. :) lol! what can i say, i love clothes. some of the girls at work try to call me a young Tyra Banks just because i'm one of the more "stylish" ppl there i guess u could say. lol. i was like 'ha! i'm nowhere near a tyra banks." lol. but the day before thanksgiving at work was actually decent for once, it was actually fun because we hardly had any customers and we all just got to chill. i was up front most of the night with Luke, Ryan and Trevor. they're some crazy ass boys. they were so excited for beach week... they're seniors in high school, so yeah, theyre havin fun this year. Oh yeah, hopefully i'll be seeing Yellowcard again on December 9th at AlleyKatz... i hope Ryan decides to go, i didn't see him at Disorientation, i'm mad at him cuz he got to meet Story of the Year at Disorientation and i really wanted to see them. :( ah well... i heard MTV2 is gonna be at the Yellowcard show too. so this should be pretty cool. and omg Linkin Park, P.O.D., Story of the Year (i think) and some other bands are gonna tour together this year and they're gonna be in fairfax, va.! omg. i'd love to see that. Linkin Park AND P.O.D.!? that's gonna be one of the best concerts of 2004 besides Incubus. :)

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It's Been A While. And Good Charlotte Rocked
Friday. 10.31.03 7:09 am
Well well well, where to begin... hm. well me and the girls went to see Good Charlotte in Norfolk, VA. it was GREAT. Benji and Billy... oh gawd. lol. i was so happy when they did "Little Things", that's my song. lol. Mest and Goldfinger were their opening acts, Goldfinger was good, i knew i liked their music, but i couldn't remember which songs, like Open Your Eyes and Counting the Days, i didn't care for Mest too much... they were alright. but we were right in the front, and while Mest (i think) was on stage, Good Charlotte walked out!!! and they shooked our hands! omg. lol. laura was fuckin FLIPPIN, she grabbed Pauls shirt and wouldn't let him go til he shook her hand. lmao. she's an aggressive lil thing. so aggressive she almost got our asses in like 50 million fights while we were there, but its all good, the people there were assholes anyways, they really were, and brittany threw water on this guy that was being an asshole to her, that was funny i was like "go girl!" but i had to fuss at one of the security guys cuz brittany felt sick and he wouldn't let us out, cuz first i got pulled out cuz i felt like i was gonna passout, so they took me to this back table and took my body temperature and blood pressure, so i knew brit had to go to the same place, cuz when i left the paramedic dude told me if i had any more problems, just to come back to the table, and the security mother fucker acted like i just made up the face there was a table out in the hallway. such a dumbass. when i showed him the damn table he felt dumb then. he couldn't say nothin else to me after that. but on the way to norfolk, we got lost a couple times... and on the way back too. lmao. but that's ok, we had fun. after the concert, we decided to go walk on the beach for a lil while since it was only minutes away. i love the beach. eventhough i hate heat, i can't wait til it gets warm enough to start going back to the beach again, so that me and the girls can finally go to Nags Head and me and quincy can spend another weekend at the beach. :)

Oh yeah and i went to Petersburg High's Homecoming, it was fun. it was nice to see Melanie, my girl Shauntea, Sharita, Termaine, Samika, Michelle, Lashawnda, and a bunch of other people again. lol. And i saw Gabe. :) Gabe is like my brother man, i luv gabe. everyone kept sayin me and him look alike, so i might as well say he's my brother. lol. and i saw henry's crazy ass, him and his cousins had on matching shirts that said "Da Fam 1st, Bullshit 2nd" lol. and i KNEW he made it up, it sound like some shit he would say. he called me up later on that night and i was like "who made up the message on yalls shirts?" and he was like "i did, baby! u know this!" lol. i was like "mmhm, yeah i did know". he thinks he's a damn pimp or somethin. lol. he's crazy. cuz before the game he was all like "yeah stef, ya boy gonna be lookin pretty at homecoming" and poppin his collar and junk. he just trips me out, i swear. and of course at the game, u came across people who acted like they didn't know u, but if they see u anywhere else, they be all up in your face, and then u saw people u really didn't feel like seeing or cared to see, but its all good, i enjoyed homecoming cuz i got to spend it with all my close friends... except jessica luster, her anti-social butt decided not to come to the game. lol. but i don't blame her though. when i went up to the high school that day, i saw my fav. teacher ms. taylor and i creeped up on her and surprised her. she looked like she was about to faint or somethin, she was so happy. lol! she started dancin around the room and junk, then she took my hand and she was like "Miss Wynn!!!!!" and we held hands and skipped/frollicked down the hallway to her classroom. LoL. it was crazy. i love ms. taylor. she told me she was so proud of me and that i'm the only student she gets that excited about seeing. and i told her that i go to school and my major and she was like "well, i'm just gonna have to get you to make a webpage for my business, don't i?" and i was like "you have your own business??" and she was like "yeah! u can come over my house for dinner some time and we can work on a webpage for my business" and i was like "aiight!" lol. that woman just would not let go of my hand the whole time i was there, and she thought i was gonna spend the whole day with her, but i had to go, i was just up there to get my green card for driving school and she looked all sad and junk, but i'll be back up there to visit her and spend the whole day. :)

And omg, laura got her FIRST speeding ticket in all her 2 years driving the day before yesterday. Her ass was flyin too, then one of our friends kept callin her cell while the cop was all in her face, and when she picked up to tell her to stop calling at the time, she laughed in her face. i know laura was PISSED. i would be too. but they talked it out... i don't know if it was exactly resolved... but they talked it out. lol. so now laura can only use the car for school and work. :( too bad we can't go to Mo's halloween party now. don't worry laura, we'll catch up with mo one day, yo. :) lol.

Yesterday me and quincy saw Scary Movie 3, it wasn't as good as i thought it was gonna be, but it wasn't that much of a disappointment either. it was still pretty funny. quincy was actin so crazy yesterday, cuz one day i let him listen to some of the music on my computer, and one of the songs i got is "party and bullshit" by Rah Digga, and he liked it... a lot. lol. so he downloaded it and burned it to a cd and he was BLASTIN it while we were on our way to the movies, he had it up so loud, it sounded like his damn jeep was about to fall apart. lol! and ppl kept lookin over at us, lol. and he was dancin all in the car and shit. lol. i was like "oh gawd quincy, what has vsu done to you!?!? its turning you... dare i say it... ::takes a deep breath::... BLACK!" and he was all like "noooooo!" and i was like "dont worry! i'll convert you back to the other side!" lmao. he was like "yay!" oh gawd, we're some crazy folks i know.

I just got my new schedule for next term, and i only have 1 class w/ laura. :( but the class we don't have together is CIS... i really don't need CIS, but i'm gonna see what they're all about in there, maybe they're doing more advanced stuff, and if they're not, i'm gonna try to test out of that class and switch to psychology with laura. :) omg, everyday during me and laura's break we go to Gina's Cafe right next door, oh i love that place, every morning i get a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit and a cup of coffee, then we go outside and sit at the lil tables and eat, cuz that place can get crowded. i need to stop eating there though, i need to lose weight... lol.

And i can't wait to start driving school, i know when i start drivin i'm prolly gonna start pickin t.j. up from school and takin mom to and from work. ma wants me to get a voltswagon bug or beetle, whatever the fuck its called. if i do, i'm gonna get a white one, i think they're cute. but i doubt i'll get a voltswagon. but who knows. i just gotta keep my fingers crossed and hope i pass this damn driving school. lol. last time i went down there i saw Jesse Burrow, i had forgot all about him. lol. but he remembered me, i was surprised to see him in there, i thought he woulda already been driving by now. ::shrugs:: i know i said a shitload of stuff, so i wll shut up now. :) lol! later kids.

oh yeah, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Next Concert on the list: Thrice w/ Thursday @ The Norva.

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MXPX is tired of masturbating
Sunday. 10.19.03 10:56 am
Disorientation fuckin rocked. i loved it! it wasn't hard, but me and laura kept our asses right in the front. each and every band was amazing. seriously. switchfoot surprised me. i thought they were gonna be more mellow, but he was one of the only frontmen to jump out into the crowd (besides yellowcard), and when he tried to jump back on the stage, he came up short and slammed his waiste into the edge of the stage, i was like DAMN! i know they had to hurt. lol. but he kept goin. and the guitar/keyboard player from switchfoot, i was on his side of the stage, he looked down at me, i smiled, then he smiled back. i was like "awww!"

yellowcard came out after them, they were GOOD. i knew a lot of their songs. it was kinda funny at first to see a violin player jump around on stage, but it was cool, he had a lot of energy. and he was doin backflips off the drumset and stuff. the drummer looked cool too. it was the black or mixed dude with dreds and he colored the tips yellow and green it looked like. very cool.

after yellowcard, i believe andrew w.k. came out. and he was good. so much energy, so much positivity. he was great, and he let some of the audience members come on stage with him, including this cute lil boy who looked about 10 or something, and he was really rockin out, he knew all the words. it was cute. andrew kept slammin himself into the amps or whatever and kept punchin and kickin his way through the stage and swingin his hair, just like i thought he would. i loved it.

then MXPX came out. Oh... My... Gawd, they were amazing. i loved every single song they did. and they're drumset was multicolored. it was so cute. :) the lead singer had so much energy. laura couldn't keep her eyes off of him, she thought he was hot. lol! in one of their songs, they were talkin bout how they were tired of masturbating, i thought that was funny. then inbetween songs, they were talking about how they've been doin this for a long time and how they used to come to the flood zone. i remember that place. i never knew they performed there. i thought that was cool that they remembered that. they have a big fan following too, a lot of the crowd knew all the words to their songs. too bad i wasn't one of them. lol! cuz i think they're good.

after mxpx, we had to wait 45 minutes to see lit. and i kept seein the guitar player from lit walk off and on stage during the other band's set, (u know, the one with the blonde spikey hair and the long braided beard... yeah... THAT one) i was freakin out. lol! it was just unreal. so during the 45 min. wait for lit, story of the year was on the OTHER stage, and i wanted to see them so bad. :( but i didn't wanna lose my spot either.. which turned out for the best later on that night too. Lit fuckin blew me away. they're energy, they're jokes, the guitarist's badass attitude, with the cig and beer in his band inbetween songs. it was just great! they played all of their songs so well. they almost sound better live than on the cd. thats how much they fuckin rocked man. i loved it. then the lead singer, he jumped off stage, and walked all the way around the pavillion or whatever, jumped on top of the middle row (that was empty, cuz everyone was in the front or the back) then came back and they were talkin bout how this was their first show since they took their break and that this was their first time ever playin in richmond. i was like hell yeah we're makin history! lol!!!... but at the end of the set, the lead singer jumped down and shook selected peoples hands. i thought he was gonna go in the opposite direction of me, so i was rubbin his arm when he was shakin the hands of the ppl beside me, but it turns out he walked down in my direction and HE SHOOK MY HAND!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!! lol... he grabbed his crotch on stage with that same hand too. hmm. wow. lol!!!! i was flippin. omg. seeing lit live only made me a bigger fan of them and mxpx. they were so great. i can't wait until they come to town again.

oh yeah, on another note that i thought was funny... laura was over my house the other day and i was playin a kid rock song back when he had lil jo c (sp?) and of course we all know lil jo died, and when laura heard lil jo's voice she started cryin. lmao!!! it was cute but it was funny cuz i didn't actually expect her to CRY. awwwww. its ok laura! :)

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HELL YEAH BABY!!! i won free tickets!!!!!!!!
Thursday. 10.16.03 1:17 pm
Omg, alright, Y101 (a local radio station) is having this big concert called Disorientation 2K3 on saturday with bands like Yellowcard, Switchfoot, Lit, Story of the Year, Andrew W.K., MXPX and some more bands and on the radio they were talking about how they were giving away free tickets at Audio Express, soooo me and laura left class early to go get the tix, because they were only gonna be there til 1, i believe, and we had to FIND the place first. then we heard on the radio, the only way to get the tickets is to dance. and laura was like "... you're dancin stephanie!!!" and i was like "alright, i'll bust a lil cabbage patch or somethin" so we find the place and we walk up to them and the guy was like "alright... break dance for us!" and i was like "what!?!" he was like "break dance! do the robot! do somethin... u gotta dance, didn't u hear it on the radio??" and laura was like "i'm too WHITE to do the robot!!!" lmao. and we kept stalling for time and then the guy was like 'alright, you're wearing an incubus shirt which is really cool so i'll give you the tickets" ( i was wearing the incubus shirt of course ). so he hands me two tickets then he hands laura two and i was like HELL FUCKIN YEAH!!!! LoL! i was like thank god i wore my incubus and thank god i'm a lil white girl stuck in a black girl's body. LoL! haha. aw man, that was fun, and the second we got em, we pulled off blastin Andrew W.K.'s "Lets Get a Party Started" omg. so now we gotta find two other ppl to go to Disorientation with us. hmmmmmmm, i wonder who it'll beeee.

Oh yeah, and since i haven't really been writin in this thing i guess i'll bring u up to date. As you know i've been attending ECPI Technical College and its going GREAT. i've only been there a week or two i believe and i already know how to create a webpage. its really fast paced. i love it. i know i'm gonna get a lot done quickly. i'm tryin to join the honors society there too or whatever ANNNND me and laura may join the web development club. yeah i kinda wanna be more active there than i was in high school because it'd look really good on a resume and plus, it just kinda gives u a leg up on things and more experience and more people/social skills or whatever. but yes school is going very well and i'm happy i get to share the experience with laura. i mean its good to have a friend there with you when you're going to a new place and starting another chapter in your life, ya know?

On top of seeing Disorientation, we're gonna see Good Charlotte and we might be seeing Thrice and Thursday next month. i'm excited. this is gonna be sweet, especially the Good Charlotte concert. I watched the incubus fan conference last night and incubus said they're going on tour next year so i'm very excited. i can't wait to hear their new album. its gonna be full of energy from the sounds of it.

For Halloween i get to go on the Haunted Hay Ride/Scream Forest with Quincy. :) i think laura and brit are gonna try to go too. but i know i'm gona be scared out of my mind when i go. so whoever i'm standing beside better be on their toes because i'm gona be clutchin onto them like frickin glue. haha. but anyways, i'm gonna go. gots stuffs to do. later kids.

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Wednesday. 10.8.03 11:55 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Oddly... it feels kinda good to be back in school
Monday. 10.6.03 10:41 pm
Yes, my first day at ECPI was today and it was cool. it felt kinda surreal being there cuz i could never picture myself in college... its like, i could, because i've always set goals for myself but i just didn't think i'd get there so quickly. its like reality is hittin now, especially since it's so fast paced. and i'm sooooo glad laura is there with me, it just makes things more fun and relaxing. i'm striving to be successful there because i'm paying for this with my own money and i don't like wasting my money, so if i'm doin this stuff, i'm gonna get everything i can out of it, and then some. my classmates seem to be cool too. u don't have to deal with the immaturity u sometimes came across in high school.

Omg, i feel like SHIT. i caught a cold, and for some reason when i catch a cold, i catch it bad. cuz i sometimes have a hard time breathing anyways, and then when i catch a cold its like hell, and i have a headache, my eyes are red and ugh, i just feel drained. :( but quincy came over and his hugs and kisses helped put a smile back on my face.
but then after he left i realized i had stinkin homework to do! i did what i could.. i was supposed to read two chapters but i only read two paragraphs and pushed it aside. lol! ah well. it'll be aiight.

I had fun yesterdee because i called up my friend sharita who i haven't talked to in MONTHS, but we were really good friends though and when we talked, its like picked up where we left off like nothin changed. and i found out she used to *talk* to one of my friends, so me and her decided to pay him a lil visit. when she got to my house she gave me this big hug and was like "omg stephanie its been so looooong!" and blah blah. lol. i forgot how fuckin LOUD she was. good lord. but it was funny cuz he didn't know we knew eachother. but ah well.

Me and laura tryin to go to Y101's Disorientation... hopefully we can get brit to go, that's kinda up in the air. there gonna be a buncha bands... Story of the Year (which is the band playing on my page), Lit and errrrrrrrr some other bands i can't think of right now cuz my fuckin head is throbbing w/ pain. lol! i shouldn't be on this damn computer... but anyways... ryan told me he was prolly goin to it. i was pissed cuz he told me he was prolly gonna see 311 and Alien Ant Farm too and i was ARRRRRRRG! i wanted to kill him!!!!! lol! cuz i wanna see that so fuckin bad, but i don't wanna spend the money right now.

Oh yeah, the other night was cool, me and brit went to lauras house... they came by to surprise me at my house and then we went to laura's house once her rents left. it was nice cuz we were just chillin... listenin to music, cookin pizza and eggrolls (lol) and jumpin on her trampoline in the middle of the freakin night. lol. but that made it fun. i felt like my damn heart was about to jump outta my chest after i finished jumpin on that thing. i'm so outta shape. lol. oh yeah and me and brit were breakin it down with our Beyonce booty bouncin. lol! Brit is so funny cuz she's like this lil ghetto white girl... always listenin to the big tymers (her ass knows more lyrics to their songs than i do) and she knows that song "smoke by myself, drink by myself". she knows a whole buncha ghetto songs, and its funny when she starts breakin em down. lol! she's a trip. and laura be singin the damn ying yang twins, so her ass ghetto too. lmao.

Oh garsh, at the pharmacy sunday, this regular customer came in to get his meds and he left like he always does, then all of a sudden, like 5 seconds later he rushes back in with this huge gash on his head and blood pouring down his face and i was like 'omg!!" and tommy took him in the back so he could clean his face and tommy called his son to come in and bandage him up and whatever other prodecure he needed to take him through cuz his son is a doctor. it was crazy man. he scared the crap outta me. he said he hit it on something outside from what i could hear.

hmm, i know i had somethin else to say but i forgotted. lol. oh well. goodnight!

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